Aging Gracefully

 


Thanks to Harriett Eaker Adams for this encouraging "Good News".

 

MAJOR NEWS FLASH FROM HARRIETT EAKER ADAMS
(YOU WILL ALL BE SO HAPPY)

Subject:  In case you were wondering....

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much . 

People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall
facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe
.  Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do
humans take longer to access information when their brains are full. 

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive
decline . 

The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only
because we have stored more information over time The brains of older people
do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more . 

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they
get there, they stand there wondering what they came for.  It is NOT a
memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise .
SO THERE!! 

  I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember
their  names ... 

  So, please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too . 


-- 
HAVE A GREAT DAY 

 

 


NOT SO MUCH ABOUT BUT STILL FUNNY

 

 

HEARING TEST
Is this you??
 
The husband is always the last to know.

Mike feared his wife Lynn wasn't hearing as well as she used to and
he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to
discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband
could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away
from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she
hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get
a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was
In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what
happens.'Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response..

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife
and repeats, 'Lynn, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's
for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Lynn, what's for dinner?'

(I just love this)


'For Gods sake, Mike , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

 

 

 Baby Boomers New Theme Song
June George Duet keeps reminding
us how old we are

Click on picture.

 

 

 Check this out.  How fun is this?


 

 The following from Ross Ayers:

CRABBY OLD MAN


            When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in
North Platte ,  Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any
value.

            Later, when the nurses were going through his meager
possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the
staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to  Missouri .

            The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in
the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the  St. Louis Association for
Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple,
but eloquent, poem.

            And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world,
is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet
.



            Crabby Old Man

            
What do you see nurses? . . .. .. . What do you see?
            What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
            A crabby old man . . .. . . not very wise,
            Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

            Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
            When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
            Who seems not to notice . .. . . . the things that you do.
            And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

            Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
            With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
            Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
            Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.

            I'll tell you who I am. . . . .. . As I sit here so still,
            As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
            I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . with a father and mother,
            Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

            A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
            Dreaming that soon now . .. . . . a lover he'll meet.
            A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
            Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

            At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own.
            Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
            A man of Thirty . . . .. . My young now grown fast,
            Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

            At Forty, my young sons . . .. . . have grown and are gone,
            But my woman's beside me . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
            At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
            Again, we know children . . .. . . My loved one and me.

            Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
            I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
            For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
            And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.

            I'm now an old man . ... . . . and nature is cruel.
            Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
            The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
            There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.

            But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
            And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
            I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
            And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.

            I think of the years, all too few . . . .. . gone too fast.
            And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.
            So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.
            Not a crabby old man .. . . Look closer . . . see ME!!

            Remember this poem when you next meet
            an older person who you might brush aside
            without looking at the young soul within.
            We will all, one day, be there, too!


 

 
This from Ann Sherrill Davis

No One Believes Seniors

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally ."

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money -
fifty thousand dollars!

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No".

Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile"

The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ....."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "We're outta here!"

 

 

 

 

  

  

  

 

 

  

 

I don't want to brag or make anybody jealous,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

 

 
The first senior moment in history:

We'll be friends until we're old & senile.  Then we'll be NEW friends.....

 This video doesn't tell us anything we
don't already know (or should), but it's
a nice way to spend a couple of minutes. Enjoy.

 

YOU KNOW YOU’RE OLD WHEN.....

 Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can’t look THAT old?

    My name is Alice, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back when?

    Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply-lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

    After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

    "Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang," he beamed with pride.

    "When did you graduate?" I asked.

    He answered, "In 1975. Why do you ask?"

    "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely.

    Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled-faced, fat rear-end, gray-haired, decrepit old man asked,

                 "What did you teach?"

 Ok, Mavs.  If the following video doesn't inspire (or depress) you, you need re-programming.  These are SENIOR seniors; we're just FRESHMAN seniors, so no excuse for sitting on the sidelines!  

  

 

 

 

 Comedienne Anita Renfroe sings a parody of Josh Groban's "You Raise
Me Up."  At our age, we need all the help we can get.

 Ok, one more by Anita - can't help it:

Anita Renfroe performs a parody of Carrie Underwood's "Before He
Cheats" at the Premier Designs National Rally 2008. Parody is entitled
"Before I Eat."

 

 

ScreenHeros - Some "related video" offers pop up at the end. No, they're NOT related & I worked hard to get them off, but to no avail.  Please disregard. This "Screen Heroes" video is worth seeing.

                 

We make NO guarantee of the content accuracy.  It's just
an interesting video on our interesting era.

 

First you forget names, then you forget faces.  Next,
you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally, you
 forget to pull it down --- George Burns 

 

To Skip to Part 2, Click on car       
To Skip to Part 3, Click on Bill & Hillary                           

                                      

  

 

You MAVS are still hookin' 'em.


You beauties are still stopping traffic.

(For the visually-challenged, to enlarge pictures, click on them.)

 
 You're still playing air guitar.

Still going ga-ga over superstars...& governators

Still the bad boy at the biker bar.

Still performing in the Lions Loonies.

Still goin' ta them Texas roundups.

Still the party girl

Still will......well, you know who you are...

Still the biker babe

Still looking for adventure and...

craving excitement,

Still loving a good skinny-dip

 

Still sneaking your dad's hot wheels out, cruisin' Grand Ave...... and gettin' caught by the law,


Still lookin' for discoveries off the beaten path.

Will still do anything for a laugh in Study Hall.

Will still do ANYTHING to hang out with girls.


Still trying to amp up the Corral Club.


Still sneakin' that porn


Still hogging the limelight


Still playing in the mud


Still swinging in the park

Still challenging authority


Still a winner


Still don't have enough credits to graduate


Barbie the senior years
Still playing with dolls

Still worshipping heroes


Still enjoying a slice of birthday cake, and...


Still love being the birthday boy.

IF THIS WON'T CONVINCE THE WORLD THAT WE'RE STILL YOUNG, THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP TRYING.  STAY TUNED FOR "WE ARE NOT OLD!" Part 2

PART 2

THE BABY BOOMERS' GUIDE TO AGING GRACEFULLY

(...or, WHEN THEY PRY MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS... whichever suits you)
 
   It has come to my attention, Boomers, communicated to me with the best of intentions, that some of you -- a rare few, mind you -- are having difficulty adjusting to your new, exalted status of "Oh, Wise One."  As self-appointed role models for the entire universe, we Boomers are the vanguard of the Newly-Old; we are the Chosen Ones, the Definers of every stage we've swept through.  People are watching.  Our heirs are looking to us to guide them into the Golden Years like no other group has ever done.
   So for you few who may not be embracing this role optimally, this little handbook is presented, chock full of information that you already know.  Let's begin quickly, as we have no time to waste (on so many levels).
 
 
TAKING STOCK           (CLICK ON PICTURES TO ENLARGE)
 
 
  

 

latest senior citizen fashion craze in asia
 Feeling tired a lot lately?

 

 Feel like you're getting no respect?

 

 Attitude taken a negative turn?

 
Old lady no teeth bush bashing
 Blaming others for your problems?

 

Old man racing with his grandson
 Losing the Rat Race?

 

Funny old man photo
  Cheer up, '65ers! There are MANY ways to recapture the Youth that you used to know, and, even better, it's all under YOUR control!  Here's how:

 

 MAXIMIZE YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH



 First, get a check-up. And don't forget, you're entitled to a second opinion.

 

 Who's better than your doctor to give you good advice about improving your health?

 

 
How long's it been since that last eye exam?

 

funny face of old man
 A trip to the dentist will clear up those pesky oral problems.

  No shame in corrective hearing devices.

 

 
Increase your consumption of fruits & vegetables.

 

 Studies have shown that use of free weights can add strength even to those at the low end of the fitness scale.

  

 So can a little yard work.

 

04_super_granny.jpg (18376 bytes)
 Maintaining flexibility is as important as strength training.

 

 Martial arts can have multiple benefits.

 

 A walk in the sunshine promotes the production of Vitamin D.

  

Severely limit your exposure to fast foods!

 

 Getting back that figure is easier than you think.

  

 A HEALTHY SOCIAL LIFE ADDS YEARS


 Don't be afraid to make new friends.

 

 You might discover you share the same past times.

 

 Take a friend out to lunch.

 

 Get out more often; take in a show.

  

 Pamper yourself with a day at the spa.

 

Join community theater.

  

Funny photo of old man looking behind a picture
 Discover art.

 

 Take up gourmet cooking.

 

 Walk barefoot on the beach with your best buds.

 

 Learn the dance to "Thriller."

  

 Become a community activist.

  

 Volunteer your teaching skills.

  

 Keep your heart open to new relationships because...

 

 you may find love in unexpected places.

 

 Bring yourself into the 21st century.

 

 Let your age work FOR you.

 

 And hey! Every now & then, just take a moment out of your hectic life to relax and contemplate the universe.

 

    CONSIDER THIS A FORUM, FELLOW BOOMERS.  COLLECTIVELY, WE HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS TO ANY QUESTIONS ON COOL AGING.  SEND US YOUR HELPFUL HINTS & WE'LL POST THEM, THUS ENRICHING THE LIVES OF ALL WHO LOOK TO US FOR GUIDANCE.

 

      


PART 3

THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY!

 

 

David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK ! I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." 

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet, a mere child! Senior citizen? 

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo! Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? 
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. 
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? 
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"


I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror !


Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.


Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found !


I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" but all I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.


Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake !" I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK ! My grandfather does stuff like this all the time!"


All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast !


As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky. 

The good news was I had successfully found my way home!
   
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* 

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today. 

The people who are starting college this fall  were born in 1991. 
  
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. 

Their lifetime has always included AIDS. 
  
The CD was introduced two years before they were born. 
  
They have always had an answering machine. 
  
They have always had cable.. 
  
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. 
  
Popcorn has always been microwaved.                 
  
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. 
  
They don't know who Mork was or Mindy or where they was from.. 
  
They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'. 
  
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers. 
  
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. 
  
Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. 
  
Notice the larger type?   
  
That's for those of us who have trouble reading. 
  
P.S.  Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

 

 


DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?

 

 

 

COLONOSCOPY JOURNAL     4/1/10
 
ABOUT THE WRITER - Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald (and BTW, is our age, Boomers).  I heard him speak at a book store & he said this is the only thing he's ever written that had a point to it.  As a Dave Barry fan, I tend to agree.
 
     I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.  A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.
 
     Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn’t really hear anything he said because my brain was shrieking, "HE’S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!"
 
     I left Andy’s office with some written instructions and a prescription for a product called "MoviPrep," which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now, suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America’s enemies.
 
    I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.  In accordance with my instructions, I didn’t eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.
    Then in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.)  Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour because MoviPrep tastes – and here I am being kind – like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon...
 
     The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, "a loose, watery bowel movement may result." This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
 
     MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don’t want to be too graphic here, but have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.  After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.
 
     The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.  Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.  I was thinking, "What if I spurt on Andy?" How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?  Flowers would not be enough.
 
     At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.  Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, which I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
 
     Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.  Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.  At first I was ticked off that I hadn’t thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
 
     When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I was seriously nervous at this point.
 
     Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was "Dancing Queen" by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, "Dancing Queen" had to be the least appropriate. "You want me to turn it up?" said Andy, from somewhere behind me.
 
     "Ha ha," I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like:
 
     I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling, "Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine," and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.  Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.  I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over and that my colon had passed with flying colors.  I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
 
     On the subject of colonoscopies... colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
 
1. Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!
 
2. Find Amelia Earhart yet?
 
3. Can you hear me NOW?
 
4. Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?
 
5. You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.
 
6. Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?
 
7. You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...
 
8. Hey!  Now I know how a Muppet feels!
 
9. If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
 
10. Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.
 
11. You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?
 
And the best one of all:
 
12. Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?
 
 

  


Noticed the generation gap yet?

 


You could always pretend you meant to do this...

 

 
Other than this, it ain't so bad.

PART 1   

Hey, Baby Boomers, do your children or grandchildren think you're old?  Well, we are at the head of the line, Baby Boomer-wise, the generation that redefined aging.  And we beg to differ! We still haven't lost it, and here's positive proof:  (Scroll down for evidence.)

 From Sam & SJP
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THESE SENIOR DISCOUNTS?

 

 

 
Most are age 65 but some are 50, 55, 60, 62

Senior savings that will help you keep more cash in your pocket. Whoever said getting older was a bad thing, obviously didn’t know about these fantastic senior discounts!


Restaurants

*   Applebee’s: 15% off with Golden Apple Card (60+)
*   Arby’s: 10% off (55+)
*   Ben & Jerry’s: 10% off (60+)
*   Bennigan’s: discount varies by location
*   Bob’s Big Boy: discount varies by location (60+)
*   Boston Market: 10% off (65+)
*   Burger King: 10% off (60+)
*   Captain D’s Seafood: discount varies on location (62+)
*   Chick-Fil-A: 10% off or free small drink or coffee (55+)
*   Chili’s: 10% off (55+)
*   CiCi’s Pizza: 10% off (60+)
*   Culver’s: 10% off (60+)
*   Denny’s: 10% off, 20% off for AARP members (55+)
*   Dunkin’ Donuts: 10% off or free coffee (55+)
*   Einstein’s Bagels: 10% off baker’s dozen of bagels (60+)
*   Fuddrucker’s: 10% off any senior platter (55+)
*   Gatti’s Pizza: 10% off (60+)
*   Golden Corral: 10% off (60+)
*   Hardee’s: $0.33 beverages everyday (65+)
*   IHOP: 10% off (55+)
*   Jack in the Box: up to 20% off (55+)
*   KFC: free small drink with any meal (55+)
*   Krispy Kreme: 10% off (50+)
*   Long John Silver’s: various discounts at participating locations (55+)
*   McDonald’s: discounts on coffee everyday (55+)
*   Mrs. Fields: 10% off at participating locations (60+)
*   Shoney’s: 10% off
*   Sonic: 10% off or free beverage (60+)
*   Steak ‘n Shake: 10% off every Monday & Tuesday (50+)
*   Subway: 10% off (60+)
*   Sweet Tomatoes 10% off (62+)
*   Taco Bell: 5% off; free beverages for seniors (65+)
*   TCBY: 10% off (55+)
*   Tea Room Cafe: 10% off (50+)
*   Village Inn: 10% off (60+)
*   Waffle House: 10% off every Monday (60+)
*   Wendy’s: 10% off (55+)
*   White Castle: 10% off (62+)


Retail and Apparel

*   Banana Republic: 10% off (50+)
*   Bealls: 20% off first Tuesday of each month (50+)
*   Belk’s: 15% off first Tuesday of every month (55+)
*   Big Lots: 10% off
*   Bon-Ton Department Stores: 15% off on senior discount days (55+)
*   C.J. Banks: 10% off every Wednesday (60+)
*   Clarks: 10% off (62+)
*   Dress Barn: 10% off (55+)
*   Goodwill: 10% off one day a week (date varies by location)
*   Hallmark: 10% off one day a week (date varies by location)
*   Kmart: 20% off (50+)
*   Kohl’s: 15% off (60+)
*   Modell’s Sporting Goods: 10% off
*   Rite Aid: 10% off on Tuesdays & 10% off prescriptions
*   Ross Stores: 10% off every Tuesday (55+)
*   The Salvation Army Thrift Stores: up to 50% off (55+)
*   Stein Mart: 20% off red dot/clearance items first Monday of every month (55+)


Grocery

*   Albertson’s: 10% off first Wednesday of each month (55+)
*   American Discount Stores: 10% off every Monday (50+)
*   Compare Foods Supermarket: 10% off every Wednesday (60+)
*   DeCicco Family Markets: 5% off every Wednesday (60+)
*   Food Lion: 6% off every Monday (60+)
*   Fry’s Supermarket: free Fry’s VIP Club Membership & 10% off every Monday (55+)
*   Great Valu Food Store: 5% off every Tuesday (60+)
*   Gristedes Supermarket: 10% off every Tuesday (60+)
*   Harris Teeter: 5% off every Tuesday (60+)
*   Hy-Vee: 5% off one day a week (date varies by location)
*   Kroger: 10% off (date varies by location)
*   Morton Williams Supermarket: 5% off every Tuesday (60+)
*   The Plant Shed: 10% off every Tuesday (50+)
*   Publix: 5% off every Wednesday (55+)
*   Rogers Marketplace: 5% off every Thursday (60+)
*   Uncle Guiseppe’s Marketplace: 5% off (62+)


Travel

*   Alaska Airlines: 10% off (65+)
*   Alamo: up to 25% off for AARP members
*   American Airlines: various discounts for 65 and up (call before booking for discount)
*   Amtrak: 15% off (62+)
*   Avis: up to 25% off for AARP members
*   Best Western: 10% off (55+)
*   Budget Rental Cars: 10% off; up to 20% off for AARP members (50+)
*   Cambria Suites: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Clarion: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Comfort Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Comfort Suites: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Continental Airlines: no initiation fee for Continental Presidents Club & special fares for select destinations
*   Dollar Rent-A-Car: 10% off (50+)
*   Econo Lodge: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Enterprise Rent-A-Car: 5% off for AARP members
*   Greyhound: 5% off (62+)
*   Hampton Inns & Suites: 10% off when booked 72 hours in advance
*   Hertz: up t0 25% off for AARP members
*   Holiday Inn: 10%-30% off depending on location (62+)
*   Hyatt Hotels: 25%-50% off (62+)
*   InterContinental Hotels Group: various discounts at all hotels (65+)
*   Mainstay Suites: 10% off with Mature Traveler’s Discount (50+); 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Marriott Hotels: 15% off (62+)
*   Motel 6: 10% off (60+)
*   Myrtle Beach Resort: 10% off (55+)
*   National Rent-A-Car: up to 30% off for AARP members
*   Quality Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Rodeway Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Sleep Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
*   Southwest Airlines: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)
*   Trailways Transportation System: various discounts for ages 50 and up
*   United Airlines: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)
*   U.S. Airways: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)


Activities & Entertainment

*   AMC Theaters: up to 30% off (55+)
*   Bally Total Fitness: up to $100 off memberships (62+)
*   Busch Gardens Tampa: $3 off one-day tickets (50+)
*   Carmike Cinemas: 35% off (65+)
*   Cinemark/Century Theaters: up to 35% off
*   U.S. National Parks: $10 lifetime pass; 50% off additional services including camping (62+)
*   Regal Cinemas: 30% off
*   Ripley’s Believe it or Not: @ off one-day ticket (55+)
*   SeaWorld Orlando: $3 off one-day tickets (50+)