To All Mothers, Grandmothers,
Aunts, Cousins, Godmothers, &
even Mr. Mom ~ anyone who's ever mothered anyone
To watch any of the videos on this page, first turn off the radio by clicking
on Mom, above, then return here.
MOM DICTIONARY
(or Grandmother)
AIRPLANE - What Mom impersonates to get a 1-yr-
old to eat strained beets.
ALIEN - What Mom would suspect invaded her house
if she spotted a child-sized creature
cleaning up after itself.
BABY - 1. Mom's youngest child, even if he's 42.
2. Dad when he gets a cold.
BATHROOM - A room used by the entire family,
believed by all except Mom to be self-
cleaning.
BECAUSE - Mom's reason for having kids do things
which can't be explained logically.
CARPET - Expensive floor-covering used to catch spills
& clean mud off shoes.
CARPOOL - Complicated system of transportation
where Mom always winds up going the
farthest with the biggest bunch of kids
who've had the most sugar.
COOK - 1. Act of preparing foods for consumption.
2. Mom's other name.
DATE - Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can
enjoy worrying about the kids in a different
setting.
DRINKING GLASS - Any carton or bottle left open
in the fridge.
DUST RAGS - See "DAD'S UNDERWEAR"
EAR - A place where kids store dirt & small objects.
EAT - What kids do between meals, but not at them.
EMPTY NEST - See "WISHFUL THINKING"
ENERGY - Element of vitality kids always have an
over-supply of until asked to do something.
EYE - The highly susceptible optic nerve which,
according to Mom, can be "put out" by
anything.
FABLE - A story told by a teenager arriving home
after curfew.
FOOD - The response Mom usually gives in answer
to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?"
See also, "SARCASM"
FROZEN - 1. A type of food.
2. How Hell will be when Mom lets her
daughter date an older guy with a
motorcycle.
GARBAGE - A collection of refuse items, the taking
out of which Mom assigns to a different
family member each week, then winds up
doing herself.
GENIUS - Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
HAMPER - A wicker container with a lid, usually sur-
rounded by, but not containing, dirty
clothing.
HANDI-WIPES - Pants, short-sleeves, drapes, etc.
HANDS - Body appendages which must be scrubbed
raw with volcanic soap & sterilized in boiling water immediately prior to consumption of
the evening meal.
HINDSIGHT - What Mom experiences from changing
too many diapers.
HOMEMADE BREAD - An object of fiction like
the Fountain of Youth & the Golden Fleece.
ICE - Cubes of frozen water which would be found
in small plastic tray if kids or husbands
ever filled the darn things instead of
putting them back in the freezer empty.
JACKPOT - When all the kids stay at friends'
homes for the night.
JEANS - Which, according to kids, are appropriate
for any occasion, including church &
funerals.
JEEEEEEEEEZE! - Slang for "Gee, Mom, isn't there
anything else you can do to embarrass me
in front of my friends?"
JOY RIDE - Going somewhere without the kids.
JUNK - Things belonging to Dad.
KISS - Mom medicine.
LEMONADE STAND - Complicated business venture
where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons
& paper cups, & sets up a table, chairs,
pitchers & ice for kids who sit there for 3
to 6 minutes & net a profit of 15 cents.
LOSERS - See "KIDS' FRIENDS"
MAKEUP - Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, etc., which
ironically make Mom look better while making
her young daughter look "like a tramp."
MAYBE - No.
MILK - A healthful beverage which kids will gladly
drink once it's turned into junk food by the
addition of sugar & cocoa.
"MOMMMMMMM!" - The cry of a child on another
floor who wants something.
NAILS - A hard covering on the end of the finger,
which Mom can never have a full set of, due
to pitching for batting practice, opening
stubborn modeling clay lids & removing heat
ducts to retrieve army men and/or doll
clothing.
OPEN - The position of children's mouths when they
eat in front of company.
PENITENTIARY - Where children who don't eat
their vegetables or clean their rooms
eventually end up, according to Mom.
PETS - Small, furry creatures which follow kids home
so Mom will have someone else to clean up after.
PIANO - A large, expensive musical instrument which,
after thousands of dollars worth of lessons &
constant harping by Mom, kids will refuse to
play in front of company.
PURSE - A handbag in which Mom carries the check-
book & keys she can never find because
they're buried under tissues, gum wrappers,
a plastic container of cereal, toys from a
fast-food restaurant, a teddy bear, a
football, wallpaper samples, a grocery list
& several outdated coupons.
QUIET - A state of household serenity which occurs
before the birth of the first child & occurs
again after the last child has left for college.
RAINCOAT - Article of clothing Mom bought to keep
a child dry & warm, rendered ineffective
because it's in the bottom of a locker, stuffed
in a book bag, or because the child refuses to
wear "the geeky thing."
REFRIGERATOR - Combination art gallery & a/c for
the kitchen.
ROOM MOTHER - A position of great honor & respon-
sibility bestowed on a mom who inadvertently
missed a PTA meeting.
SCREAMING - Home P.A. system.
SNOWSUITS - Warm, padded outer garments that,
when completely zipped & snapped perform 2
important functions: protecting children from
the cold, and reminding them that they have
to go to the bathroom.
SUNDAY BEST - Attractive, expensive children's
clothing made of a fabric which attracts
melted chocolate & grape juice.
TERRIBLE TWO'S - Having both kids home all
summer.
TRAMP - A woman with 2 kids & no stretch marks.
TROUBLE - Area of non-specific space a child can
always expect to be in.
VITAMINS - Tiny facsimiles of cave people Mom
forces you to swallow each morning as part
of her sinister plot to have you grow up to
be "just like Daddy."
WASHING MACHINE - Household appliance used to
clean blue jeans, permanent ink markers, loose
change, homework, tissues & wads of gum.
"WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME" - Standard
measurement of time between crime &
punishment.
XOXOXOXO - Mom salutation guaranteed to make
the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch
box even more mortifying.
ZUCCHINI - Vegetable which can be baked, boiled,
fried or steamed before a kid refuses to eat
it.
WHY DID GOD
MAKE
MOTHERS
?
Question Asked of 2nd Graders
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of string.
3. God made my mom just the same like He made me.
He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds & angel hair & everything nice in the
world & one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms
like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom & none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs & YES to
chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic. They make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid
of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
did it, not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
her head.
For all of the silliness & humor that comes with Mothers Day,
there is a heartfelt side. Immediately below is a short video of how Julia Ward Howe inspired Mothers Day (Civil War era), as well as other women activists who have been inspirations.
Remember: You can get Full Screen by pressing the 4-cornered icon in the bottom-right corner of the video. Undo it by pressing Escape key.
Those of you who would enjoy a slide show of beautiful pictures,
sentiment & music, enjoy the YouTube presentation, immediately
following.
Does this hat make my face look old?
Top row, left to right: Dr. James Harris, Ross Ayers, Johnny Vassar, Steve Reeves,
Harold Little, Henry Rasberry.
Front row, left to right. Sam Moseley, Edd Clark, Jim Barnard, Bryan Conaway,
Gerald Watson, who is immediately behind Steve Verhalen, who brought the hats.
Attendants missing from photo, Robert Sullivan, Billy Burke & Bill Peteet.
from Sam Pics from this years Hog Hunt and a tribute to our friend Bob Holtzclaw. He
went before us and is dearly missed by us all.
Last Saturday while at the Hog Hunt, Robert Sullivan received
a call that his father-in-law had passed away. He was a true World War II
hero. Sam posted his obituary and other Sullivan family news on the Marshall
News page. CLICK ON FLAG to read news.
l
Our newest members:
Rae Verhalen Maun &
Debbie Harkins Spies
209 Members (58% of the classes)
30,303 Hits - still over 1,000/Mo.
(but just barely) 5/6/12
Congratulations Ethyl Rae, you and those other sweethearts
are looking great.
Click on Drive In sign to see some geat old South
Marshall days photos from Ethyl Rae Wilkinson's
collection. Also from Ethyl Rae is the SLUMBER PARTY.
Thanks for sharing Ethyl Rae. Thanks for sending Soff.
CLICK HERE to see new Marshall Promo. From Dr. Harris
Two people near you will engage in sudden, violent, rubber-band warfare. You will be caught in a crossfire, and severely thwapped. Next time, consider wearing protective headgear indoors.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before you fall asleep, you will think: “A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul.” Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The results can be a trifle unpredictable.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today will be a celebration of life, love, and art. Also, the start of a nagging fear that you’ll find out something terribly unpleasant while doing your taxes.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Due to minor lymph-node infection, several dangerous toxins will shortly be released into your bloodstream. Not to worry. You’ll survive, and the only permanent brain damage will involve an enthusiasm for polka music.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will be conducting naval maneuvers in the bathtub today, when you will have an unfortunate accident involving your toy submarine. The visit to the emergency room will be most embarrasing.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You will walk into a door frame today, and people will smirk. Remember though, they’re smirking with you, not at you.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitable candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good day to take up knitting, on horseback. Everyone needs an adventure.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to do crossword puzzles in the park. Life is short enough, without letting it get you all stressed out like that.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Good day to let your imagination soar. Tomorrow: imagining you’re sore.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Your perfume or cologne has too much patchoulli. Only an idiot wears patchoulli. Or a witch. Hmm. Er, never mind. Wear whatever you like. I’m sure it’s quite nice.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Good day to ponder the parable of the itsy bitsy spider, and the futility of climbing up water spouts during spring weather. You’ll be able to apply this lesson to one of your current relationships.
Keep scrolling down for new photos.
To hear the music in this YouTube video, first turn off the radio
by clicking HERE.
You don't stop playing
because you grow old.
You grow old because
you stop playing!
What I Like about
Texas
Click on the state to hear a YouTubesong by
Gary Nunn
A Real Texas Lady
One day a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing to (that means: getting ready to) jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down her window and said, "Please don't jump. Think of your dear mother and father."
He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."
He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any children."
She said, "Well then, you just remember the Alamo."
He replied, "What's the Alamo?"
She replied, "Well, bless your heart....you just go ahead and jump, you little Yankee bastard!"
CLICK ON NOTES TO ADJUST PLAYER
Click on New sign. Great Britan has talent too. I promise, you will be shocked.
CLICK ON SMILEY DRINKING BUDS to see
some really cute Pepsi commercials.
CLICK ON SMILEY DRINKING BUDS to see
some really cute Coke commercials.
CLICK ON URL. You guys are gonna love this.
Sweet words, youth and a powerful voice. Very
impressive and moving.
CLICK HERE to see some great photos by a
photographer that went into the wild in West
Texas to get them.
CLICK HERE to see a small bird land on Josh William's
guitar at the Doyle Lawson Bluegrass Festival while he
is singing. Watch his reaction as he keeps his cool and
finishes the song. This from Bubba Armstrong.
CLICK HERE to see underwater footage from Fiji and
Tonga.
CLICK ON FLAG to see Veteran Of The Year.
Big Surprise...... this from John Wolf
Interacting with your Site
CLASSMATE PROFILES - Check these frequently. See what everyone has been up to for the last 45 years. Some have done an incredible job of uploading photos and bios.
PHOTO GALLERY - We are opening a gallery where everyone can add their photos. Display your pictures here, not just on your Profile Page or Facebook. Click the Photo Gallery button, left margin, & show us the Times of Your Lives.
MESSAGE FORUM- Here you can leave message, drop in You-tube videos, pictures, jokes, ec. Check in to see what's being talked about; add your two cents!
LIVE CHAT - A group conversation with online classmates. Set a time to meet here, if you like. Simply log in to the website, click on the LIVE CHAT link located in the left margin & you're in!
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POLLS - When posted, there are located on the right side of your Home Page, are anonymous & intended for fun & entertainment only.
INSTANT MESSAGING (IM) - A chat with only 1 or 2 onliners. Bottom-right side of screen tells you who's online. Click on their name, then type a message in bottom of IM box.
MARSHALL NEWS - We'll post pictures & news, so don't just check frequently, but inform us of what's happenin' around the area.
FRACTURED FAX,AGING GRACEFULLY- Just some silliness that makes fun of our world & our age. You're encouraged to submit lots of silliness to add to the laughter.
BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE Pause Radio, then CLICK HERE, you will love it.
Pause radio and Click Here to see another great new video.
Click on dancer to go back to top of page.
Music for Mavs
To listen to the music, no matter what page you're on
1. Stop the "radio" by clicking on the large, middle circle w/ the 2 parallel bars (Pause button).
2. Click the Pop-Out Player button. This will take you to a screen w/ another radio.
3. Press the intertwined arrows to select Shuffle, then turn the radio on by clicking
the large middle button w/ the right-arrow.
4. Minimize this page by clicking the "minus" box in the extreme top-right of your
computer screen. This will return you to the original Home Page.
NOTICE: You may need to Pause the Home Page radio every time you return to this
page. Oh, well, the price is right.
"There's no place like home ~ ~ except Caddo Lake."
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PHOTO GALLERY - We are opening a gallery where everyone can add their photos. Display your pictures here, not just on your Profile Page or Facebook. Click the Photo Gallery button, left margin, & show us the Times of Your Lives.
MESSAGE FORUM- Here you can leave message, drop in You-tube videos, pictures, jokes, ec. Check in to see what's being talked about; add your two cents!
INSTANT MESSAGING (IM) - A chat with only 1 or 2 onliners. Bottom-right side of screen tells you who's online. Click on their name, then type a message in bottom of IM box..jpg){kind=small}
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